Bleh.

Saturday was a frustrating day.

It’s been a long & stressful week. Jiu jitsu almost always make me feel better after going to class. But not on Saturday.

It started off okay. I was happy to see my boys get their first stripes, and they were equally happy.

We had a smaller-than-lately class for the adults. The IBJJF Chicago tournament was going on, and a dozen or so people went. And did very well by all accounts. Tim made up the groups, and we did one round in, one out system.

I had a mixed bag of a group. Started off with Kevin the white belt. Went okay, he’s trying to be fast and engage only when it’s to his advantage, so we spent a third of our round before I could get a hold of him without him jerking away and disengaging.

Next round is where the day started to go bad. I drew a visiting purple belt. I’ve always been told (and believe) that as a visitor, you’re the equivalent of a guest in someone else’s house. You act polite. And this guy was, but he was also working at (what felt like) 105%. Hey man, if you feel the need to prove you “belong” here or something, then go right ahead. I’d much rather run at 60% or 70%, and get a sweat in, have some fun, and be able to walk the next day. So he triangled me right off the bat. Then knee sliced into an anaconda. Then bermibolo’d into a RNC. No biggie, I know even at 100%, I’m not going to be beating this guy. The thing that really set me off was near the end. He was setting up another bermibolo, and Tim started shouting coaching tips to me. And I really can’t even express WHY that bothered me. Was he disappointed in me? Was I frustrated at sucking? Was it non-jiu-jitsu things bothering me? I don’t know.

A round off, stewing to myself, followed by a round with Bob the monster really didn’t help things at all. I’d love to be as smooth and technical as Bob. Or as strong. But he really has a tendency to be “rude”. Nothing illegal, but a plethora of little frustrating things.

Another round off, more stewing. Next round, back with Kevin. And after that, I decided that I was done for the day. I was just frustrated enough that I wasn’t going to learn anything. So I sat and watched the last couple of rounds. Which (now) frustrates me. I don’t get a lot of mat time. To think that I was unhappy enough to waste what little I get, my head must of been (still is?!) in a weird place.

Saturday’s events have provided a lot of food for thought.